I would never wish bad things but I don't wish you well...

It is so late for me, and I am incredibly exhausted. However, I had a yearning to blog, so here I am.
I watched American Idol tonight. I don't like Blake, but he's definitely going to have a career, and I'll probably have his album. I really like Jordin, and I think she deserves to win. Hopefully she pulls it out. She did absolutely amazing tonight...especially in the last song. I don't know how big of a career she'll have, but she is a great singer for being only 17 years old.
So, I was thinking today...this is always interesting and this time is no exception. There are quite a few people who had a really big impact on my life at some point that I don't talk to anymore. So, then I thought, if I died tomorrow, would those people come to my funeral? In fact, would those people even find out in time to come to my funeral? Because some of them I am completely not in contact with anymore, but still, they held a really important part of my life. Then I thought, wait, if they died tomorrow, would I find out in time to go to their funeral? Or would I even go to their funeral? Life is funny. Really funny. It moves so fast, and to look back sometimes messes with perception completely.
Another thing kinda hit me today as well. I was outside sitting and talking. We were talking about normal things...Spain, family quirks, our jobs. Then we were talking about the future for a little bit. I was thinking big. I was thinking about a really amazing beach house in the south or living in Europe or somewhere far away. Then I said something about it, and she replied in a ho hum, "ok whatever you say" kind of way. At first I was completely upset because how can she dare to not think what I do is amazing and great! But she didn't mean it in that way. I realized that no matter what I do, they will be happy and proud and love me through it all. It wasn't about me having too big of dreams, it was the fact that even now, I am just fine in their eyes. If I live in Europe they'll be happy, but if I live in Finleyville in a mediocre house they'll be happy too. That makes me happy. I have free reign with no expectations, well no expectations within reason. Whatever I want for me, my family wants for me too.
Maroon 5's new CD came out today. Do I have it yet? No. Will I have it tomorrow? I better dang it. I sampled it, and it sounds completely incredible! It will probably be my summer CD. Do you ever realize that music can create a perfect time line of your life? That's what is so special about music. Out of anything it can easily take you back to the exact moment, the exact feelings, the exact essence of any part of your life.

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."