Just Singing in the Rain...

It's been too long, and frankly, I have too much to say. So, here we go.

First, update on me of course. I am finishing up my classes, and I only have four more days of classes to go until I will be officially, truly finished with my undergraduate studies. Woo. I am taking a classic American film class (it is quite a joke, but I am getting to watch a lot of interesting movies) and Islam. So, the Islam class is probably one of the most interesting classes I have ever taken. I have never been in such an intense class - my professor calls it "Islam boot camp because we will eat, sleep, and drink Islam every second of every day for three weeks." I love it. I love learning about different religions, even though I am not a big supporter of organized religion. If I ever go back to school after law school, which who am I kidding I totally will, it will probably be to get a degree in theology or world religions or something. The media portrays Islam in such a negative light. We only hear about the radical Muslims, but Westerners don't hear anything else about the religion. So, do me a favor, and educate yourself. Because there is no reason to be ignorant to something that is in the spotlight every day. Today, we went to a mosque to observe their prayer. It was really interesting. I loved that we got to take our shoes off and sit on the floor. I wish I could do that in my church, but everyone would just think I was crazy. The only thing I particularly don't like is that women are separated from the men when praying. If both sexes are in the same room, the women must be at the back, and sometimes there is a barrier, a wall, put up to separate the sexes. In the mosque today, we were in the choir loft. You know, also, I didn't mind wearing a headscarf either. I feel like the headscarf is part of being there, part of the culture. That part did not offend me, but sitting in the choir loft kind of did. Apparently, men will be distracted by the pose during the prayer. But instead of moving men, of course, they move the women. Boo.

Anyhow, my life consists of studying, eating, sleeping, and working. There is barely any time for anything else. I thought these three weeks of classes were going to be easy, but no way. Nothing is that easy. I am thoroughly enjoying working at preschool every day. I love my kids, and I am going to be really sad to leave them after this week. It's weird to think how I may have impacted their lives, and I will more than likely never see them again. Weird. Again, that's how life goes though.

So, on to bigger and better news. I was reading the homepage on http://www.msn.com/ the other day, and there was an article that caught my attention. It was, "Don't Take a Woman Here!" by Nicole Kristal (http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9457&menuID=6). Basically, it's supposed to be a little guide on where men shouldn't take women on dates. Fine. It's a cute, fluff article. It was everything I had expected it to be, but when I read a couple parts, I actually was upset. Where is the first place women shouldn't be taken to on a date? A sports bar.

When we’re with you, we don’t want to compete with the big game or struggle to
hear you over a crowd of drunken sports fans. We’d rather be in a place where
people are less likely to bump into our chair or spill beer on the cute outfit
we put too much time into selecting. Likewise, we don’t want to feel ignored by
our date because he’s watching his favorite team or can’t hear us because of
that old 50 Cent song blaring from the speaker by our heads. The Buffalo wings
are pretty much the best part of this experience, and they better be freakin’
outstanding.

Unfortunately, I do not spend too much time into selecting my outfit. And I, contrary to popular belief about women, like sports. But that isn't even the worst one. Here's my favorite: Gross out comedies.

We know you think the whole dinner-and-a-movie idea is infallible, but not if
the movie completely grosses us out. You might find it funny when Ben Stiller is
standing near a pier and a fish hook gets stuck in his cheek or when Johnny
Knoxville jumps into a vat of plastic balls filled with venomous snakes—we
don’t. Men and women have different senses of humor. Various studies have proven
this, so try to respect this biological fact and refrain from making us indulge
your Three Stooges sensibility for two hours. Your buddies may laugh, but we’ll
simply be rolling our eyes.

There's Something About Mary was absolutely hilarious. Sorry, but I actually liked that film. And beyond that, I think that is definitely a great date movie. If any guy took me to see that on a date, I'd be happy. And I must admit that I happened to watch Johnny Knoxville over and over again. Also, I wonder what studies have shown that men and women have different senses of humor. To assert the difference in sense of humor is a biological fact confuses me. Am I a biological freak of nature for liking these "guy" movies? Come on, give it a break. Men and women are humans. Humans and individuals who have different tastes - period - regardless of sex.

That is the kind of stuff that needs to be re-examined in our every day life so we can become better humans. Sure, it's an article that is all fun and games, but it's an article that people take seriously. Perhaps my brain just isn't hard-wired for that kind of humor.

"The way to do it," said Amy Poehler, "is to do what men do, which is you just assume power. You're not grateful for it."

Feminism is Sexy.

I know, I know...it's 2:30 in the morning and here I go on a lovely rant. I just finished "The Beauty Myth", and I am having a very difficult time sorting through all of my thoughts after reading this book. So, the first thing I guess I need to say is to think about what you think is beautiful. What features do you wish you had? If you could change anything on your body, what would it be? What features do you find attractive in others? How do you feel about aging? How do you feel about plastic surgery? High heels? Make up? Diets? Are you happy with your weight? Are you beautiful? Who says? Why?

Here I go. I wish I had a longer torso, smaller breasts, thinner nose, prettier fingernails, and curly hair. If I could change anything on my body, I wouldn't. I find confidence, intelligence and kindness attractive. I think aging is graceful, beautiful and unique. Plastic surgery is everywhere. I think it should be one's choice, and I think sometimes it may be necessary (and I mean plastic surgery is necessary; I'm not sure about cosmetic surgery - yes there is a difference). High heels are so freaking cute, but they are also so freaking painful. Make up is fun, but sometimes when I put on make up I feel worse than when I keep it off. Diets are useless. Who wants to live life on a diet? I am happy with my weight. I am beautiful. I say so. Because I feel beautiful, inside and out, especially after reading this book.

Well, here goes my rant. I apologize now in case it is sporadic and insane.

First, I shall attempt to tackle the weight issues we face in this society. Obviously, there comes a certain point where being overweight is unhealthy and a life threat. No one can deny that fact. However, a couple extra pounds never hurt anyone. If I could be 5 or 10 pounds thinner, but I had to stop eating ice cream and cake and cookies and chocolate, I would not be able to do it. Because all those foods make me happy. And they shouldn't be rewards for a diet well-followed. If you are on a diet now, why are you on it? If you work out obsessively now, why do you do it? Do you do it because you like it and you feel healthier and happier? Great. If you are doing it because of your body image, stop. If not eating that cheeseburger makes you miserable, eat the damn cheeseburger. Putting ourselves in a situation where food, yes food, the stuff we need to live and play, is our enemy is not a good situation.

On to another great subject that does in fact link into this weight loss problem. Plastic surgery. So, over winter break I actually visited a plastic surgeon for a consultation for a breast reduction. Every day my back kills, I can't find clothes that fit and honestly, it's a burden. But, here's the thing, it's me. Don't get me wrong, some days I wish I could cut them off or make them disappear, and I can get into a whole argument about how I'd rather have small breasts than these things. But the thing is, they are what makes me a woman. The doctor I went to actually said one comment that made me kind of uneasy about the whole process. He told me my breasts had no purpose. He said they were just there and they weren't doing anyone any good. He said they were basically useless. I was actually deeply offended by his comment. Why? Because they are not useless. They can breast feed, they make me feel more womanly and they are part of sexual pleasure. So, as I was reading Naomi Wolf's book, this part really resonated with me. Because if my breasts are part of my sexual pleasure, why the hell would I do something to make them numb and truly useless? It is sexual mutilation in a way. Also, when talking about liposuction on women who are healthy and alive, doctors have said that the benefits greatly outweigh the risks. Think about this for a minute because until I really thought about this, I would have never realized what these doctors are saying. Being bruised, bloody, yellow, put under, cut open, sometimes infected, and sometimes dead definitely is better than having some extra fat cells. Great. Really, truly great. Before even reading this book, the final decision I made to not get a breast reduction was for one simple reason: Why would I risk major damage or even death when I am a healthy, beautiful woman as it is?

More, more issues!!! Let's enter the realm of make up and clothes and hair! Every girl's favorite things, right? Ew. So, I feel good when I have on an outfit that is cute, that looks good on me, and especially if it is also comfortable (which, let's be honest, doesn't happen very often). I have come to terms with make up. I would say I put on make up maybe 2 or 3 times a week. And I love it. This works for me. Like I said before though: sometimes when I do put on make up, I feel worse. On those days, I wash my face and don't even worry about make up. Next up, clothing and shoes. I have a shoe fetish and I know it. But, it is starting to come to the point where when I wear what I call my fierce shoes (4 inch stiletto pumps), the pain the next day in my feet and legs and back is not worth the "cuteness" of the shoes. As far as my clothes go, certain people have actually commented to me that during the week I look like I am so conservative but then on the weekends, I really look hot. What the hell is that? And also, may I point out that these comments have only come from females. I dress how I want to dress. I've worn sweatshirts to the bar, and I've worn low-cut blouses to class. Who cares. Basically, what all of this stuff comes down to is personal choice. We should be able to wear whatever and do whatever to our appearances based on our own personal preference. The horrible thing is that women are usually the ones critiquing other women. I remember when I first started referring to myself as a feminist. I thought I had to stop wearing make up, not dress cute or feminine, and not do my hair. That, my friends, is bullshit. I remember when I finally told myself to dress and look however I wanted because if other people were truly feminists, they wouldn't give a care. And guess what, they haven't. Choose to dress for yourself, not society's expectations. And stop judging other women. We all know the feeling of that jealousy welling up when we see another woman who is just drop-dead gorgeous. And we know the feeling of sympathy we feel for the woman we know doesn't quite fit the "normal" or "expected" standard of beauty. We laugh at women who can't do their make up correctly, we love the chance for a makeover, and we secretly hope the beautiful model will trip and fall on her ass. What is the point of all of this? Why can't we embrace each other. We all have the same insecurities from society, so instead of judging each other, can't we just embrace and respect each other? Can't we tell ourselves and each other we are beautiful and pull each other up instead of pinning each other down?

What a rant. If you are still with me now, I congratulate you. If you want to say something back, that's why I have comments on my blog. These issues face us every morning when we wake up and look into the mirror. Think about why you are putting on your face. Think about why you step on that scale. Just think! And decide - for yourself, not society. "The real issue has nothing to do with whether women wear makeup or don't, gain weight or lose it, have surgery or shun it, dress up or down, make our clothing and faces and bodies into works of art or ignore adornment altogether. The real problem is our lack of choice" (The Beauty Myth 272).

"If there is anything behind a face, that face improves with age. Lines show distinction and character: they show that one has lived, that one may know something." -Karen de Crow

"People who have been much loved retain even in old age a radiating quality difficult to describe but unmistakable. Even a stone that has been blazed on all day will hold heat after nightfall... this warm radiance." -Dame Ethyl Smyth