Groovin' on a Wednesday Afternoon

Well, good news. I have a nice little tan going on now. The weather has finally decided to act like it is July, and I love it. Woo.
In other news, I have truly begun to delve deep into my law school reading. And honestly, I love it. I really missed actually reading academically stimulating material. And the books I have been reading aren't only academically stimulating, but also emotionally stimulating. I am now in the middle of reading about the life of Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. This guy is hailed as one of the greatest pioneers in law. However, his life is really interesting in that he was super logical. So, I started thinking about whether I would like to have strictly professional success or both personal and professional success. Because, honestly, what is a life without family, love, humor and downtime? Although it would be amazing to be known for hundreds of years after my death, would I want to use every waking minute of my life working, working, working? What would make me feel fulfilled? Maybe these books are meant to stimulate my mind and my heart. Maybe they are there to make me think about what I want out of my law career. Because, honestly, I don't really know that yet.
Anyhow, I came upon a poem while reading the book, and I think it is a very sad, thought-provoking poem. Here it is.

The Last Leaf

By Oliver Wendell Holmes

I saw him once before,

As he passed by the door,

And again

The pavement stones resound,

As he totters o'er the ground

With his cane.

They say that in his prime,

Ere the pruning-knife of Time

Cut him down,

Not a better man was found

By the Crier on his round

Through the town.

But now he walks the streets,

And he looks at all he meets

Sad and wan,

And he shakes his feeble head,

That it seems as if he said,

"They are gone!"

The mossy marbles rest

On the lips that he has prest

In their bloom,

And the names he loved to hear

Have been carved for many a year

On the tomb.

My grandmamma has said--

Poor old lady, she is dead

Long ago--

That he had a Roman nose,

And his cheek was like a rose

In the snow;

But now his nose is thin,

And it rests upon his chin

Like a staff,

And a crook is in his back,

And a melancholy crack

In his laugh.

I know it is a sin

For me to sit and grin

At him here;

But the old three-cornered hat,

And the breeches, and all that,

Are so queer!

And if I should live to be

The last leaf upon the tree

In the spring,

Let them smile, as I do now,

At the old forsaken bough

Where I cling.

Annnnd I'm back!

I am back from my many travels into the Midwest. Woo. I visited Dayton, Milwaukee and Cleveland in one week...not to mention a little drive thru tour of Chicago (well, at least Michigan Avenue). It was an incredible trip, and I am very happy I got to see every single one of my best friends. It was kind of like a last hurrah before I need to buckle down and start focusing on my life. Ew.
Speaking of focusing on my life, I got my law school orientation packet. I already have assignments I need to do before orientation because the orientation consists of legal researching and writing. The joys. This is seriously going to be the biggest challenge so far in my life. But I'm ready, ready, ready, Freddy.
In other news, Pittsburgh's weather stinks. I mean, honestly, yesterday couldn't have been any hotter or sunnier. Perfect to sit by the pool all day, which I did. Today is chilly and rainy. Boo. I was looking forward to keeping my tan on a steady roll. But no, I get to try to find stuff to do in this house today. Blah. Except I actually do have a fair share of organizing to do before I begin the law school journey.
Otherwise, everything in my life is just peachy keen, jelly bean. Squishy is cute as ever. He loves me; he really loves me! He comes to the side of his cage to watch me whenever I am doing something. However, the other day he headed toward the stairs in his ball. I had to intercede before I had a paralyzed Squishy on my hands.
So, the next little tidbit of excitement is that this weekend my Dad is finally going to take me out on the motorcycle for a bit of adventure and exploration. I am super excited to actually go on a long ride. Woo.
Well, that was a lovely update. I'm sure more to come soon.

"Here dies another day
During which I have had eyes, ears, hands
And the great world round me;
And with tomorrow begins another.
Why am I allowed two?"
-G.K. Chesterton

And he shall be my Squishy!

Finally folks, the day has come. I got so bored on Monday that I decided I needed a friend. So, of course, where can you find the best friends ever? That's right, the pet store. I got an adorable, chubby buddy - a dwarf hamster - and I named him Squishy. I have had the name picked out for months, and now the name has an actual hamster. Woo. He is the friendliest hamster ever. He shall be my companion through the lonely days of living at home during law school.
Anyway, as I said before, I have been very bored. I tried to stay busy for awhile, and I did. I was able to do little things here and there for people to keep myself active. Now, however, those little things have pretty much ended, and here I sit, staring at the wall all day. Not to mention the weather has been really weird and horrible. If it was in the 80s and sunny, I would have no problem relaxing by the pool with a book. But it's in the 70s and hazy, which makes it weird to swim. At least the grandparents have the hot tub working now. That's a huge plus. Otherwise, I've been reading a lot. It's a good thing, but I am still dragging.
The one good thing coming soon is my little road trip. I'll be visiting Dayton, Chicago, Milwaukee and Cleveland...all in one exciting week. I am very anxious to get out of my lovely home for a week. It will be highly necessary. I just can't believe it's already going to be July. As much as summer is dragging, summer never seems to slow down too much.
I have been looking at my law school schedule and reading about all the organizations and opportunities, and I am getting ridiculously excited to begin. I am so ready for a challenge, and I am so ready to be thrown into something completely new. I can't wait to see if I can work hard and end up in the top spots in my class. I want to succeed really badly. We shall see though. I just know that by the time law school comes along, I will be more than ready to work hard.
Let's see what else is exciting...I am going to Myrtle Beach in August. I am really looking forward to that for sure. I've never been to Myrtle Beach, but I hear it's quite the good time. My cousin announced that she's pregnant last night at a little family party. It's exciting. There hasn't been a baby in our family for 8 years. And, it will be the first great-grandchild. It is pretty exciting. And our family was in need of some good news.
Well, I suppose that's all for now. I would try to write more, but honestly, there's not much left to write. Oh, this boring life of an unemployed bum.

"Life is nothing but changes, which are little deaths." -Sogyal Rimpoche

Me encanta verano!

Summer, oh sweet summer, how I love you. I have been trying so hard to stay a busy, busy girl this summer. However, it is starting to tone down. I have volunteered to do a lot of housework and yard work for family, but now I am totally regretting that decision. Sure, I get a little extra cash money, but I should not have signed up for it. Oh well. I am stuck. Tough luck, chickie.
So, I am very excited because tonight I got my first drum set lesson! Woo! And I really liked it. A lot. I always wanted to learn a musical instrument, and now I finally get to learn. We'll see how it goes, but I definitely want to keep learning.

The other thing I am craving is intelligent reading. I have been reading a few books, but nothing really stimulating. I really miss the academic environment of college, and granted, I get law school soon, but I still miss the environment. It makes me wonder if one day I will need to be a professor just to keep the knowledge going. I also crave my lovely friends. Only a couple weeks until I get to visit them. I really am trying to get used to this whole situation, but it is really hard. And even harder to realize I am not going back to Dayton. It's still weird to have to move all of my stuff into my house again. I actually am combining my home life with my school life, and it is really weird. Oh well, time keeps going and things keep changing I suppose. I just wish my friends weren't so far away from me!!! Right now, I'm not even busy. I can't imagine how hard it will be to keep in touch when I am swamped with school and work.

I'm just happy this summer is shaping up to be a really awesome one. My last summer to be lazy, lazy, lazy. And I'm enjoying every minute of it...milking it for everything it's worth. Woo WOO!

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." -Victor Hugo

G with an O...O with a D...T with an I...M with an E

Considering this weekend was absolutely, ridiculously hot - summer has finally come. Woo! So, this weekend I went to a wedding and a 50th wedding anniversary party. Interesting to see some newlyweds and some oldlyweds as well. It was nice to hang with the family I suppose. It was even nicer to make some s'mores and drink some beer and lay poolside.
Although I am not working, I have been managing to keep myself really busy. I seriously do have a lot of stuff I can do. And I haven't even begun to read or get my act together for law school. I honestly still feel like I'm an undergrad. It's weird to think I'm not. Ew.
Anyhow, I don't have much significant to say. Just figured I'd write and bore everyone to death. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. But I am so seriously Happy. Happy. Happy.

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

Let the Summer Begin!

I am finally home for the summer. No more classes. No work. Relaxation, fun, sun and peace of mind. Thank goodness. I have been waiting all year for this. Now that it's here, I'm not entirely sure of what to do with myself.
This past weekend has been really hectic, so I suppose today is the first day I can try to sort everything out. Friday I came home late, hung out with some friends, and performed my first show of the summer for my sister and her lovely friends. It was fun. Then Saturday, we helped set up for Relay for Life and went to the Dave Matthews concert. It was a ton of fun. Dave always gives a good show. Except this time, he ended his whole show on a cover song...and a Ray Charles song at that. Weird. Oh well. The atmosphere was just lovely anyhow. Then Sunday, I finally got to go out and ride my motorcycle. Finally!!!! After that, I went mini golfing, and I got my butt kicked. And I got soaking wet because apparently it's cool to put squirty water things on mini golf courses. Stupid. I hate getting wet. Then my lovely golfing partner won the free game at the end of the course and got to put his name up on their little wall of fame. How stupid. I always lose at mini golf. My family had a really nice dinner yesterday with my grandparents (who just got back from Alaska). The most important thing is that they did bring me back a picture of a moose. That's all I ever wanted. Anyhow, it was quite an eventful weekend.
I have already started a to-do list for this week. I feel like there is so much to do, but I don't have a time frame to do it in anymore. I get to do whatever I need or want to do. Yes! I am feeling really weird about not going back to Dayton at the end of the summer, though. I keep thinking I am leaving, but I'm not. So, now I guess I have to work at feeling at home, at home. Woo!
Well, this was Ashley with the weekend update. Until later, well, sooner rather than later.

"Love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favorite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams. Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who love."

Just Singing in the Rain...

It's been too long, and frankly, I have too much to say. So, here we go.

First, update on me of course. I am finishing up my classes, and I only have four more days of classes to go until I will be officially, truly finished with my undergraduate studies. Woo. I am taking a classic American film class (it is quite a joke, but I am getting to watch a lot of interesting movies) and Islam. So, the Islam class is probably one of the most interesting classes I have ever taken. I have never been in such an intense class - my professor calls it "Islam boot camp because we will eat, sleep, and drink Islam every second of every day for three weeks." I love it. I love learning about different religions, even though I am not a big supporter of organized religion. If I ever go back to school after law school, which who am I kidding I totally will, it will probably be to get a degree in theology or world religions or something. The media portrays Islam in such a negative light. We only hear about the radical Muslims, but Westerners don't hear anything else about the religion. So, do me a favor, and educate yourself. Because there is no reason to be ignorant to something that is in the spotlight every day. Today, we went to a mosque to observe their prayer. It was really interesting. I loved that we got to take our shoes off and sit on the floor. I wish I could do that in my church, but everyone would just think I was crazy. The only thing I particularly don't like is that women are separated from the men when praying. If both sexes are in the same room, the women must be at the back, and sometimes there is a barrier, a wall, put up to separate the sexes. In the mosque today, we were in the choir loft. You know, also, I didn't mind wearing a headscarf either. I feel like the headscarf is part of being there, part of the culture. That part did not offend me, but sitting in the choir loft kind of did. Apparently, men will be distracted by the pose during the prayer. But instead of moving men, of course, they move the women. Boo.

Anyhow, my life consists of studying, eating, sleeping, and working. There is barely any time for anything else. I thought these three weeks of classes were going to be easy, but no way. Nothing is that easy. I am thoroughly enjoying working at preschool every day. I love my kids, and I am going to be really sad to leave them after this week. It's weird to think how I may have impacted their lives, and I will more than likely never see them again. Weird. Again, that's how life goes though.

So, on to bigger and better news. I was reading the homepage on http://www.msn.com/ the other day, and there was an article that caught my attention. It was, "Don't Take a Woman Here!" by Nicole Kristal (http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9457&menuID=6). Basically, it's supposed to be a little guide on where men shouldn't take women on dates. Fine. It's a cute, fluff article. It was everything I had expected it to be, but when I read a couple parts, I actually was upset. Where is the first place women shouldn't be taken to on a date? A sports bar.

When we’re with you, we don’t want to compete with the big game or struggle to
hear you over a crowd of drunken sports fans. We’d rather be in a place where
people are less likely to bump into our chair or spill beer on the cute outfit
we put too much time into selecting. Likewise, we don’t want to feel ignored by
our date because he’s watching his favorite team or can’t hear us because of
that old 50 Cent song blaring from the speaker by our heads. The Buffalo wings
are pretty much the best part of this experience, and they better be freakin’
outstanding.

Unfortunately, I do not spend too much time into selecting my outfit. And I, contrary to popular belief about women, like sports. But that isn't even the worst one. Here's my favorite: Gross out comedies.

We know you think the whole dinner-and-a-movie idea is infallible, but not if
the movie completely grosses us out. You might find it funny when Ben Stiller is
standing near a pier and a fish hook gets stuck in his cheek or when Johnny
Knoxville jumps into a vat of plastic balls filled with venomous snakes—we
don’t. Men and women have different senses of humor. Various studies have proven
this, so try to respect this biological fact and refrain from making us indulge
your Three Stooges sensibility for two hours. Your buddies may laugh, but we’ll
simply be rolling our eyes.

There's Something About Mary was absolutely hilarious. Sorry, but I actually liked that film. And beyond that, I think that is definitely a great date movie. If any guy took me to see that on a date, I'd be happy. And I must admit that I happened to watch Johnny Knoxville over and over again. Also, I wonder what studies have shown that men and women have different senses of humor. To assert the difference in sense of humor is a biological fact confuses me. Am I a biological freak of nature for liking these "guy" movies? Come on, give it a break. Men and women are humans. Humans and individuals who have different tastes - period - regardless of sex.

That is the kind of stuff that needs to be re-examined in our every day life so we can become better humans. Sure, it's an article that is all fun and games, but it's an article that people take seriously. Perhaps my brain just isn't hard-wired for that kind of humor.

"The way to do it," said Amy Poehler, "is to do what men do, which is you just assume power. You're not grateful for it."

Feminism is Sexy.

I know, I know...it's 2:30 in the morning and here I go on a lovely rant. I just finished "The Beauty Myth", and I am having a very difficult time sorting through all of my thoughts after reading this book. So, the first thing I guess I need to say is to think about what you think is beautiful. What features do you wish you had? If you could change anything on your body, what would it be? What features do you find attractive in others? How do you feel about aging? How do you feel about plastic surgery? High heels? Make up? Diets? Are you happy with your weight? Are you beautiful? Who says? Why?

Here I go. I wish I had a longer torso, smaller breasts, thinner nose, prettier fingernails, and curly hair. If I could change anything on my body, I wouldn't. I find confidence, intelligence and kindness attractive. I think aging is graceful, beautiful and unique. Plastic surgery is everywhere. I think it should be one's choice, and I think sometimes it may be necessary (and I mean plastic surgery is necessary; I'm not sure about cosmetic surgery - yes there is a difference). High heels are so freaking cute, but they are also so freaking painful. Make up is fun, but sometimes when I put on make up I feel worse than when I keep it off. Diets are useless. Who wants to live life on a diet? I am happy with my weight. I am beautiful. I say so. Because I feel beautiful, inside and out, especially after reading this book.

Well, here goes my rant. I apologize now in case it is sporadic and insane.

First, I shall attempt to tackle the weight issues we face in this society. Obviously, there comes a certain point where being overweight is unhealthy and a life threat. No one can deny that fact. However, a couple extra pounds never hurt anyone. If I could be 5 or 10 pounds thinner, but I had to stop eating ice cream and cake and cookies and chocolate, I would not be able to do it. Because all those foods make me happy. And they shouldn't be rewards for a diet well-followed. If you are on a diet now, why are you on it? If you work out obsessively now, why do you do it? Do you do it because you like it and you feel healthier and happier? Great. If you are doing it because of your body image, stop. If not eating that cheeseburger makes you miserable, eat the damn cheeseburger. Putting ourselves in a situation where food, yes food, the stuff we need to live and play, is our enemy is not a good situation.

On to another great subject that does in fact link into this weight loss problem. Plastic surgery. So, over winter break I actually visited a plastic surgeon for a consultation for a breast reduction. Every day my back kills, I can't find clothes that fit and honestly, it's a burden. But, here's the thing, it's me. Don't get me wrong, some days I wish I could cut them off or make them disappear, and I can get into a whole argument about how I'd rather have small breasts than these things. But the thing is, they are what makes me a woman. The doctor I went to actually said one comment that made me kind of uneasy about the whole process. He told me my breasts had no purpose. He said they were just there and they weren't doing anyone any good. He said they were basically useless. I was actually deeply offended by his comment. Why? Because they are not useless. They can breast feed, they make me feel more womanly and they are part of sexual pleasure. So, as I was reading Naomi Wolf's book, this part really resonated with me. Because if my breasts are part of my sexual pleasure, why the hell would I do something to make them numb and truly useless? It is sexual mutilation in a way. Also, when talking about liposuction on women who are healthy and alive, doctors have said that the benefits greatly outweigh the risks. Think about this for a minute because until I really thought about this, I would have never realized what these doctors are saying. Being bruised, bloody, yellow, put under, cut open, sometimes infected, and sometimes dead definitely is better than having some extra fat cells. Great. Really, truly great. Before even reading this book, the final decision I made to not get a breast reduction was for one simple reason: Why would I risk major damage or even death when I am a healthy, beautiful woman as it is?

More, more issues!!! Let's enter the realm of make up and clothes and hair! Every girl's favorite things, right? Ew. So, I feel good when I have on an outfit that is cute, that looks good on me, and especially if it is also comfortable (which, let's be honest, doesn't happen very often). I have come to terms with make up. I would say I put on make up maybe 2 or 3 times a week. And I love it. This works for me. Like I said before though: sometimes when I do put on make up, I feel worse. On those days, I wash my face and don't even worry about make up. Next up, clothing and shoes. I have a shoe fetish and I know it. But, it is starting to come to the point where when I wear what I call my fierce shoes (4 inch stiletto pumps), the pain the next day in my feet and legs and back is not worth the "cuteness" of the shoes. As far as my clothes go, certain people have actually commented to me that during the week I look like I am so conservative but then on the weekends, I really look hot. What the hell is that? And also, may I point out that these comments have only come from females. I dress how I want to dress. I've worn sweatshirts to the bar, and I've worn low-cut blouses to class. Who cares. Basically, what all of this stuff comes down to is personal choice. We should be able to wear whatever and do whatever to our appearances based on our own personal preference. The horrible thing is that women are usually the ones critiquing other women. I remember when I first started referring to myself as a feminist. I thought I had to stop wearing make up, not dress cute or feminine, and not do my hair. That, my friends, is bullshit. I remember when I finally told myself to dress and look however I wanted because if other people were truly feminists, they wouldn't give a care. And guess what, they haven't. Choose to dress for yourself, not society's expectations. And stop judging other women. We all know the feeling of that jealousy welling up when we see another woman who is just drop-dead gorgeous. And we know the feeling of sympathy we feel for the woman we know doesn't quite fit the "normal" or "expected" standard of beauty. We laugh at women who can't do their make up correctly, we love the chance for a makeover, and we secretly hope the beautiful model will trip and fall on her ass. What is the point of all of this? Why can't we embrace each other. We all have the same insecurities from society, so instead of judging each other, can't we just embrace and respect each other? Can't we tell ourselves and each other we are beautiful and pull each other up instead of pinning each other down?

What a rant. If you are still with me now, I congratulate you. If you want to say something back, that's why I have comments on my blog. These issues face us every morning when we wake up and look into the mirror. Think about why you are putting on your face. Think about why you step on that scale. Just think! And decide - for yourself, not society. "The real issue has nothing to do with whether women wear makeup or don't, gain weight or lose it, have surgery or shun it, dress up or down, make our clothing and faces and bodies into works of art or ignore adornment altogether. The real problem is our lack of choice" (The Beauty Myth 272).

"If there is anything behind a face, that face improves with age. Lines show distinction and character: they show that one has lived, that one may know something." -Karen de Crow

"People who have been much loved retain even in old age a radiating quality difficult to describe but unmistakable. Even a stone that has been blazed on all day will hold heat after nightfall... this warm radiance." -Dame Ethyl Smyth

Yo tengo un nuevo libro favorito!

So, I have a new favorite book. If you're into really interesting feminist reading, you have to read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. It is truly the most fascinating book I have read in a long time.
Anyhow, to update, I have been living the college dream the last couple of weeks. I have been really trying to enjoy every moment which is why I have not been very great about writing. Visiting with my favorite people here is much more important than typing on this screen.
I have one final tomorrow. I have one take home final to turn in tomorrow. I have one final group project to turn in. And then, I am scotch free. At least for a week and a half because I get to come back and suffer through three more weeks of classes. I found out today that I get a sash to wear at graduating. Who knows what that is all about. I don't really want to be a gaudy decorated graduate. Blah. We'll see what's up with that.
I have truly learned a ton at college, and I am very surprised with how much I have changed. I am much more laid back and thoughtful than I was coming into college. Three years is such a short amount of time, but I've changed more in the last three years than I think I've ever changed in my entire life. Woo hoo.
Well, that's it for now. There is so much more to do than write.

Sexual beauty is an equal portion that belongs to both men and women, and the capacity to be dazzled is gender-blind. -Naomi Wolf

Reverse the Curse?

So, just a nice update to life and some small things to write about.
First, the semester is ending. Thank goodness. I spent last weekend in Columbus, and it was quite bittersweet. However, it was overall a really nice weekend. I love my family (well most of them anyhow). We went to the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, and it was fun. They were really great live, and the crowd was very interesting...I felt at home. The other excitement was Ry's gravestone being finished. It is the most gorgeous thing ever. It makes you speechless when you see it because it is truly a work of art. Slowly but surely, I am finishing all my projects for the end of the semester. My hard work is paying off, and I have received some of the best compliments I've ever received from professors. It's nice, really nice.
So, on to more and exciting things. I was watching television the other day, and a commercial for Midol came on. The line of the commercial at the end was "Reverse the Curse." I hate periods and all the pain and uncomfortable-ness that comes with them, but I don't think it's a curse. The ability to have a child is unique and truly, a blessing. Sure, I don't particularly like the whole period thing, and I do denounce it when I am hormonal, but there is no reason to call it a curse. It bothered me because there's no reason to call something that is uniquely female a curse. It just makes women feel bad about another womanly thing.
Now for happy news! Spain's new prime minister is working with a ministry that is a majority of women. In fact, the Defense Minister is a woman (the first woman minister of defense) who is also 7 months pregnant. Another woman, the Minister for Equality is only 31 years old, the youngest in Spain's history. How exciting!
Well, there's the updates. Until another day.

"After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. After every storm there comes clear, open skies." -Samuel Rutherford

I'm sure it didn't ruin her, just made her more interesting.

I was getting crap from the peanut gallery about not writing. Alas, here I am again.
Projects, finals and papers - oh my! Really, I have this big master list of all the things I have left to finish and turn in before the end of the semester, and holy moly, it's a big one. I don't think I would have ever finished it had it not been for my hard work the rest of the semester. Good thing I am completely organized and structured.
Well, we have had three nice days in a row here in Dayton. I even got to take my little convertible on a drive with the top down. It felt great - I cannot wait for summer though! I think the rest of the week is supposed to be rainy. But, maybe the weather will be nicer in Columbus since I'll be there this weekend. Speaking of this weekend, it would have been Ry's 19th birthday on Saturday, and it is Brandon's confirmation. Also on Saturday, Lynyrd Skynyrd is coming to Columbus. Well, I woke up one morning feeling like I really had to e-mail someone from the band to tell them about Ryan. So, I did. And, I got an e-mail back saying they were definitely forwarding the message on to the band. I am not telling my cousins or anything yet. I might tell them before the concert because there may be a nice shout out to Ry. We'll see. I'm nuts.
This past weekend was a lot of fun. I am really enjoying my weekends with my friends because we are coming down to the home stretch of school, and this is my last few weekends with the whole university. It is really weird, and I started getting really sentimental this past weekend. It's all starting to hit me. Ahhhhh!!!
In the past two weeks, I have had to visit churches to speak about organ donation for my one class. I have been to an Episcopal church and a Presbyterian church. Fun. The one big thing I noticed was the people there were so nice. I felt extremely welcomed there. It was weird because I thought I would feel awkward, but I didn't...well, except when I ate the bread too early then spit it back out. Oooops. It wouldn't have been a successful visit if I hadn't done something stupid though.
Oh, another interesting thing I'm doing is volunteering for the Aids Resource Center Ohio Red Gala. It is going to be a lot of fun. On the one night, it will be a small preview cocktail party, then the next night will be a huge dinner. What is so cool about the event is that there will be 40 different "rooms" where you can eat, and each room has been decorated by a different designer to look totally different from any other room. One designer was even laying sod on the ground so you would feel like you were outside in a field eating. It will be so neat, and I know the crowd there will be interesting and fun. I dragged Erin into doing it with me, so I'll have a friend too. I am super excited, and it will keep us busy on our study days. Yep, we're the losers who have nothing to do on study days because we've already done all of our studying and homework and projects. Haha. This gala will be a good thing to keep us busy.
Well, I do believe this is quite enough. I need to focus on my other projects now I suppose.

"As we grow up we learn that the one person who isn’t supposed to let you down probably will. And the one person that you never thought would be there for you is. You’re going to have fights with your friends; you’re going to lose some of your friends. You will eventually lose someone you love and love someone you never thought you’d find. People are going to hate you, love you, love to hate you, and hate to love you. But the ones who mean the most to you will always be there. Life is too short. So have way too much fun, make way too many mistakes, take way too many pictures, have way too many friends and enemies, laugh way too much for way too long, cry way too hard over the smallest of things, but, most importantly, love with all you have."

wooo WOOO!!!

Spring break is ending once again - my last spring break of my undergraduate career. Only 6 short weeks left in the semester. Weird. However, I finally have a plan! I will be living back at my lovely home with the parents and attending Duquesne University Law School. I am happy with my decision, and even happier that I have stuff figured out, at least for a little while.
My spring break was not much of a break actually. My aunt passed away on the 12th, so I came home to her funeral. Then I had like two days to relax, then it was my sister's birthday. After that, it was Easter. Lovely. Easter was kind of weird without my aunt. She was the kind of person who you always noticed. She is definitely missed now that she's gone.
This year has been so hard and so long. For the most part, it has been eye-opening, depressing, hectic, and insane. If anyone would have told me this was the kind of year I would have, I never would have believed them. It's a lot of taking one day at a time and trying to pull the good out of every day. But, life goes on. I understand that more now than I ever have.
Last night I went out with my grandparents to a bar to watch a country band and chillax. It was really fun. I didn't mean to drink 4 long island iced teas...oopsie. It was a memorable and interesting night for sure.
I'm excited to see my friends back at Dayton, but I am getting stressed just thinking about all the things I have to do. All I have to remember is that I don't have much longer to go until I will have my entire summer to enjoy myself and my friends. Thank goodness. It truly cannot come fast enough. And this weather better break soon!

Calvin: What’s your tail for?
Hobbes: My tail?
Calvin: Yeah. Why do tigers have tails?
Hobbes: Gee, I’m not really sure. I guess just because they look good.
Calvin: So it’s sort of like a necktie for your butt?
Hobbes: Let’s not be vulgar. You’re just jealous.

The most disturbing scene in Crash in real life.

So, there's an article about allegations being brought against a lovely police officer from Albany that is absolutely disgusting. The link to the story is http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=668448&category=REGIONOTHER&BCCode=HOME&newsdate=3/2/2008. Granted, the story is three pages long, so for those of you who don't want to read the whole thing, I will summarize here in my own words.
Basically, a 28-year-old white woman was driving a rental car through a neighborhood supposedly looking for a friend who she was supposed to pick up. A police vehicle drove past her two times before it pulled her over for not signaling (but she was never issued a ticket). The police force had been cracking down on drugs, so they were on the prowl I suppose, which is good because there shouldn't be drugs in neighborhoods. Anyhow, they pulled her over, and asked her about hidden crack pipes because she "fit the profile" - a "white girl in a rental car." She said she had no drugs, and the officer grabbed her cell phone off of her lap. He then questioned her about some private calls she had made as well as a call to a friend. The police officer then called her friend from her cell phone asking her if she was supposed to be picked up. Usually, police need a search warrant to go through someone's cell phone. Before it all was over, the woman was searched outside of her vehicle by a male officer who supposedly inserted his finger in her vagina. The other officer searched her car and dumped all the contents of her purse out, questioning her about why her wallet was empty and asking if she had spent all her money on drugs. The woman had asked to be searched at the precinct. A female officer then came to search the woman still at the car. The woman was then let go with a warning to not drive around there anymore and that she was lucky. No drugs or evidence of criminal wrongdoing were found. The woman drove off, and called her father soon after, hysterical about the situation. The "situation" is being handled internally by the police.
This whole thing makes me quite angry, as it should any person with any kind of heart. Really? First, I get sick of people taking their power and using it in absolutely ridiculous situations. Honestly, how does a person, regardless of race or sex, in a rental car fit the profile? The profile of what? A vacationer lost in a neighborhood? Or a rampant drug abuser? There was nothing noted about the police looking for a specific person. Then, what right does the officer have to take the phone and look through it? What probable cause did she give him? And what probable cause was there to even search her or the car? I can't even begin to speak about the allegation of sexual abuse either. Finally, the fact that the whole thing is being taken care of internally?! What is that? Let's let an organization that has a problem take care of it itself. Great! By not bringing in an outside source, the investigation, in my opinion, cannot be carried out in an unbiased manner. If these allegations are true, this officer should be deep in trouble...for multiple things. This is ridiculous. Yet another power crime. Great. Maybe we should be paying attention who we are putting into power and how much power we are giving them.

"Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe." -Frederick Douglass

FIERCE!

Hillary won the Ohio and Texas state primaries, and Christian won the Project Runway season finale. I'm a happy, happy woman.
So, I finally have decided I like Hillary the best out of the presidential candidates. It took me awhile, and I feel like I have made an educated decision. I think she will get into the White House, and she will make the necessary changes the fastest. She has more experience, more drive, and more solutions than Obama does. Granted, I do really like Obama, but right now I think we'd be better off with Hillary winning the ticket. I do, however, really hope Obama can be her vice president. There is my political stance for this election. Wanna talk more about it? I'd be happy to debate in person.
In other news, I picked up my cap and gown today for graduation. And, with my summer classes I want to take, I only have 12 weeks left of undergraduate studies. Can you believe it? I can't! I am super excited, but at the same time, it is sad to leave all these people who have become my family behind. I also have my law school choices down to Dayton and Duquesne. I have received a very nice scholarship from Dayton, and now we'll see what Duquesne comes up with. Now is crunch time for my decision. Have I said how horrible I am at making decisions though? This will be interesting, to say the least.
Spring break is a short week and a day away for me. I cannot wait. My poor little body is giving out under all this stress. I have been consistently sick since the beginning of the semester. I have pains and weird aches all over that I've never felt before. I've had the same headache now for four days straight. This is not healthy. Hurry up, spring break. Professors, please lay off.
Last weekend I was at home again, and it was nice to be home. But the trip was too short. It was a teaser for spring break, so it was extra sad to come back to Dayton. The weather, on top of everything, is at the point where it needs to change to spring, but it's going to take forever and a day, of course. It was 60ish the other day, but the next day it was raining/snowing and cold. The weather is teasing too. I need spring. I need spring break. And now I need sleep. Goodnight.

"Whatever we learn has a purpose and whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way. Why, when a housefly flaps his wings, a breeze goes round the world; when a speck of dust falls to the ground, the entire planet weighs a little more; and when you stamp your foot, the earth moves slightly off its course. Whenever you laugh, gladness spreads like the ripples in a pond; and whenever you’re sad, no one anywhere can be really happy. And it’s much the same thing with knowledge, for whenever you learn something new, the whole world becomes that much richer." –Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Bitches Get Stuff Done!

Regardless of who you are voting for in the election, the Saturday Night Live sketch of Weekend Update's Women's News with Tiny Fey was quite hilarious. Check it out here: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/#mea=221773.
Well, what a lovely weekend I've had. Friday we had a snow day, but Wee Haven decided to stay open, so I went to preschool to play with the kids. Then I made myself go out. It was alright. Saturday I had fun meetings all day and relaxed all night. Sunday was homework day, and then I had a basketball game. Lovely, huh? I am so ready for the weather to break. I am so sick of this snow and cold. March is coming soon, but May is really the only guarantee to good weather. I really hope spring comes early and stays for good.
This weekend I am heading home yet again. I am excited to relax, and my family and I have a movie date set. I am excited for good food, good sleep, and good relaxation. It is definitely necessary at this point.
So, I have been doing a TON of research of gender-related violence during times of conflict. It is insane the kind of stuff going on in the world, especially even in our own military. You think the U.S. military is above the rest? Watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3dvoBhevOQ. And read http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUST28545020080211?feedType=RSS&feedName=topNews. Great, huh? So much stuff gets swept right under the carpet.
One last thing before I finish. If you want to read some really interesting stories, check out my new favorite blog, http://www.feministing.com. That will help open your eyes to some inequalities.

“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” –Gloria Steinem

How Do You Get to Tomorrowland?

I always forget how much I love old movies. Tonight I watched Casablanca and An Affair to Remember. Classics. Sure, they are cheesy and unrealistic, but there are certain perfect moments of subtle little things that make me melt inside. Perfect viewing for Valentine's Day week, although Valentine's Day is stupid. Haha.
Today was a kind of snow day. The university was closed until noon and then closed again at 4:30. I got a lot of homework done which was wonderful. You know, most students on snow days probably curl up in bed all day. I, however, used the day to get work my butt off and catch up and get a little ahead. It feels good to get some stuff done, especially because I will have more time with my parents this weekend now.
Ok short update. Oh, and if you haven't seen Uno, the dog who won the best in show at Westminster, you need to immediately. He's the first beagle to win, and he's adorable.

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Love is something if you give it away...

Oh my dear February. Here you are. The shortest month. The inbetween month. And this year, you have one extra day. I was thinking about leap years, and I think I will get married on a leap year on February 29. That would be kinda cool I think.
So, I spent the last week with the flu. It's still bothering me, and I still feel kind of under the weather. I hate being sick, and I hate getting behind in classes. What I hate more than anything is when my nose gets dry. Yuck! Then most of my symptoms are gone, but instead of the flu, now I have a full-blown cold. Great.
Today I am annoyed. I am annoyed with stupid, immature people. Here's the thing: one lesson, one very important lesson that everyone needs to learn for ANY relationship to work, whether it's a friendship, romance, or even a parent-child relationship is to pick your battles wisely. For instance, before you decide to pick a fight with someone, put it in the big world perspective. If it is not going to end the world as you know it, don't even bother talking about it. Let it go for a couple days, then in a couple days, if it is still bothering you and it is still relevant, bring it up. Now, when you do decide to bring it up, don't be a jerk about it. Talk about how you feel; do not put the other person down. I just don't get it. Of course, everyone, myself included, has their low moments of picking fights (I just picked one the other night). That's excusable. But to pick a stupid fight every single day - give me a break. More specifically, give my friends a break.
Tonight the Grammy's are on. I really hope Amy Winehouse gets a couple. I know she's kind of off kilter, but her album is amazing and easily one of my favorites of all time. Kanye probably deserves some too. Even though I don't like HIM, I tend to like his music. I really can't think of who else I want to win. Oh wait, Carrie Underwood and Daughtry deserve at least one each too I think.
I am still working my buns off with school work. I am actually starting to become pretty burned out. Then I think, I have to go to law school in six months. Goodness. Maybe I should have taken a year off. After law school, I will be completely, utterly fried. But then, after law school, I'll be done with school probably forever. Eh who knows.
Lent season has begun for those Catholic friends in the world. This year, I gave up Lent for Lent. Oh well.
Well, I should get back to the productivity and never-ending work that is my life. Blah.

"This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question." –Orson Scott Card

Black Russians Came to Visit This Tuesday.

Well, lots to update I suppose. I went home this past weekend with Erin, and although it was an amazing weekend with my family, it was also bittersweet. We are just taking some hard hits now, and I hoped everything would be getting better, but it's not. This is life.

School is actually under control, but I need to keep up on everything and stay productive. If I stay ahead, I will be alright. Just gotta keep working steadily always. My last semester is supposed to be easy; instead, I am slaving away.

I desperately missed my sister and parents, and I am so happy I got to really spend time with them. This was the first time I randomly went home, and I kinda wish I would go home more often. Will I go to law school closer to family? I have no idea, but I really do enjoy my family more than ever.
I have been fighting off a stupid flu/cold thing for about a week now, and it still is in the same stage it has been in. I really hope I don't get sick because that's about the last thing I need right now. Everyone, even professors, have been sick though. I have had 5 classes canceled already this semester. That's crazy...and good all at the same time.

Blah...well I'm feeling pretty sickly now so I should sleep. Just thought I'd get in a little update, although it wasn't amazing. Oh well...not everything can be great all the time, right?

"To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free."

The Snow Looks Like Glitter Today

It has been a truly lovely morning. Have you ever had a day when you are just completely overwhelmed, but everything falls nicely into place for you? Today is that day for me. I got one class canceled, and my first aid training for tonight has been canceled. Since I did a ton of homework yesterday because I thought today would be very busy, I can now officially breathe. And it's nice.
Tomorrow I head home again, this time with Erin. She has never been to visit me, and I really am excited to show her my small town, even though it will only be for two days. I am getting sick, so this going home thing may be a very good thing considering I will get lots of rest and good food. It's definitely necessary. I am pretty amazed to say this is the first time I've ever been home on a random weekend, and not some kind of school break. Weird. And it's in my last semester of school. That is dedication, people!
All of our professors here are getting sick. I think every person I've talked to has had at least one class canceled since the beginning of the semester because of illness. I have had two and a half classes canceled. But now, I keep hearing of students getting sick, and I feel kind of under the weather. Hopefully, I won't be missing classes because of being sick. I hate being sick, but then again, who likes it?
It has snowed every night this week, I think. Yet, there has never been a significant snowfall. It just is absolutely freezing! I am ready for spring for sure. Where are you spring? Hopefully, spring comes early and stays here.
Let's see if anything else is new. Heath Ledger passed away on Tuesday. That is crazy. Like Erin pointed out, there has never been an actor of our age, our time, our movies pass away in a tragic way until now. It is definitely sad. The autopsy reports are still inconclusive, but I really hope it was accidental instead of a suicide. I don't want to think of Heath Ledger purposely taking his own life. That would be too sad.
In other news, my classes are just about killing me. At this point, I am just barely keeping up, and I still have one more class to add on that starts Monday. I just need to get through and be able to walk in graduation in May. It's insane that I am graduating. I still cannot get over it. I can remember just getting to college like it was yesterday.
Well, time to get moving for the day. I have homework and packing to do today. I might actually clean too...yucky cleaning!

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." –Marilyn Monroe

Guess What's Back? Back Again?

American Idol season 7 has begun! The season always starts when I need it most: in the midst of a cold, boring January. The auditions are classic, as always. I am enjoying myself fully. However, last night I missed most if it because I was in a meeting. Tonight, though, I am absolutely tuned in as I write.
The first couple weeks back at school are extremely stressful and chaotic. I hope that is finally over for me. I have to catch up and get into a nice routine. This semester is going to be the most interesting, but most involved semester yet. I get to make my own magazine, I am writing a research paper about gender-based violence in times of conflict in Africa, I am writing another interview-based research paper on women in the military, and I am designing business cards, brochures, posters, etc. I will indeed be a "Jane" of all trades.
And I have great news!!! I cannot believe I even waited until the third paragraph to write this, but...drum roll please. I got my first letter of acceptance to law school from Duquesne! I have somewhere to go next year. Granted, I still will hopefully have more than one school to choose from, but if all else fails I am in somewhere. And now instead of saying that I will hopefully be in law school next year, I know that I definitely will be in law school next year. I have slightly more room to breathe now.
So, I have so much on my mind right now that I can't sort thoughts. Therefore, the next little bit of this blog could be completely sporadic. Here it goes. Yesterday, John Mayer stood up for Jessica Simpson in his blog. I'm telling you what, that John is a nice person. Maybe he'll read this and come to Dayton to marry me. On that note, I will go into football. I am having a desperately horrible dilemma because the Packers are playing the Giants. So, here are the two teams I like best in the playoffs now, and they are playing each other. Dang it. But at least I know I want the Chargers to win. I am one hundred percent on that decision. And last random thought: I miss Ryan so much! Today was a really hard day. We are doing a project on organ donation, and any slight mention of death immediately puts me back into a horrible mood. It's still completely unbelievable. I will never ever ever ever ever be able to wrap my mind around it...ever!
Welp, this blogger has run out of steam. I guess American Idol has sucked all my thoughts away.

"In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season." - Bill Baughan

NO QUIERO!

Well well well...it has been awhile. This girl has been super busy, or at least just caught up in life so much that she couldn't write a lot. The end of break was perfect, and completely calm. I came back to UD, but I came back still on vacation. I cannot be productive yet, but I need to be or I will fall behind. This semester I am attempting to complete 21 credit hours in 15 weeks. If I can do this, I will be able to walk in May graduation. I'm not so excited to sit through a 2 hour ceremony, but my family is super excited for it. So, I talked to some people, got some classes shuffled around, and I am all set I do believe. My last three classes I need to take will be whatever I want to take. I'm happy about it.
So far this first week has been amazing and horrible at the same time. It is always hard to come back and get acclimated to everything. I am kind of getting over the college scene. But I am enjoying time with my besties...it's my last semester here with them, so I better. Already I have had a tearful goodbye with my freshman roomie. I have also had some tearful conversations with some amazing people. Still waiting to pick a law school though...
This semester will be as hard as the last one, but hopefully after it's all said and done, I will be feeling prouder than I ever have. Then I can start getting ready for bigger and better things. I can't believe it...I only have a couple months left as a Dayton undergraduate. Craziness!!! Well, there's nothing more to say at the moment. I will be back later with some more profound thoughts. Not much is profound at 2 in the morning besides me laughing my face off at the fact that I don't make sense, but who wants to read about that?

"I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might-have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." –Milton Berle